The kids are kicking up their heels at doing any schoolwork. And I'm feeling quite discouraged. It is such a battle, some days, that I just don't feel capable of facing it. (And I'm not handling it well. I'm constantly on edge and stressed.)Joanne responded with the following questions in brown.
Have you any advice for me?
Is there a hot-line for homeschool moms?
What can I do?
1) Do you have age appropriate, quality giving routines in place?
I think she means: Do we have any chores?
We do, but no routine or set time for getting them done. Vague rewards, vague consequences for not getting them done. (Actually, none).
2) Do you have connecting rituals, playfulness and intentional positives?
I asked for clarification about intentional positives and haven't got it yet. Connecting rituals, playfulness? Well, I'd like to read aloud to them more. Sometimes we play a game after supper. But frankly, at the end of the day, I just want to slink off by myself for a while and have nothing to do with anyone.
3) Look at food in terms of quality, tone of meals.
Well, my son's manners leave a lot to be desired, so when we eat together (about 4-5 nights a week) I spend some time correcting him. His sister less so, but still. We also have an argument nearly every night about what's on their plate and sometimes negotiate how much of it has to be eaten before they get dessert.
4) Is anyone hooked into too much screen time?
The worst culprit is probably me. I have a lot of things on the computer and I need access to them. It's the location of my social life and down time and planning. My son is "hooked"--it's very hard to pull him back from his games. TV we banished--but there are still too many dvd's and videos.
5) Sleep?
See this post. Short answer: we're getting enough, but not at the right times.
6) Are YOU getting YOU time in whatever way feeds you?
No. What I need is time to be alone--without anything that needs to be done. Then, I can relax. I don't think it's possible to get that for at least another few years. To be fair, I do get a lot of time on the computer: but I'm still always, always "available."
7) If you are constantly on edge and stressed, how is your trigger managemenet? Noise, chaos, neediness, unpredictability, mess and tedious repetition are draining, exacerbating triggers. Guess what life with kids is comprised of?
Noise: can't stand it. The computer is in a room with a french door. I keep it closed sometimes while the kids watch dvds.
Chaos: quite.
Neediness: if one child or another interrupts every ten minutes, does that mean he or she is needy?
Unpredictability: We have no routines, except to eat supper when the husband gets home. We never know what time he's coming home. Any other routines we used to have (like baths starting at 8:00pm) have been obliterated by our time-shifted sleep/wake cycles.
mess: oh, yes, it's messy around here.
tedious repetition: well that about covers all the things I am doing in a rather haphazard fashion at the moment: laundry, dishes, cleaning, projects, meals, schooling.
8) Is everyone getting an appropriate amount of play, exercise and movement?
It's been about -30C here the past week. I'd have to say no.
9) Major changes, transitions, stress?
We got a puppy at Christmas. That's been stressful.
10) Could you be depressed, clinically?
Perhaps. But it's seasonal. March is coming soon. We haven't the time, resources or inclination to deal with it professionally.
Now what?
3 comments:
When I think about the question about "routines", I wonder if it goes beyond chores -- I've read in various places that kids thrive on routine (couldn't give you chapter and verse for where I've read it, but I don't think I made it up...) Like routines with the schoolwork, routines with what subject gets tackled when, routines like, if we read for this long, then we get to do some stretches and some drawing. Stuff like that.
A word about homeschooling in general -- my cousin, who has been a teacher all her adult life, including a stint as a special-education teacher, homeschooled her two younger boys for about 6 months while they were travelling during one of her husband's sabbaticals... she found homeschooling really tough. Since she is who I think of when I try to think of the teacher I'd really love to have, the fact that she found homeschooling tough says a lot to me about how difficult it is. So give yourself some credit -- a lot of credit -- for what you do!!
Thanks, scb!
I too really think that routines mean everything- not just schoolwork. My son does better with a semi scheduled day even at 3 1/2. He paints, eats, colors and playdohs at about the same time daily. He handles change very well, but I think he likes knowing what's next in his day.
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